Screw this

So tonight I binged. My family was out of the house and I just went to town on that pantry. My weapons of choice: ice cream, sunchips, and almonds. I have no idea why I chose those, but I did and I ate a ton. Then, the pain came. I got gassy and bloaty, and it didn't help that my stomach has probably shrunk from decreased consumption. Every time I vow I won't do it, but I always return to that dreadful cupboard. One would think I would remember the pain and all, but no, I continue to be an idiot and make myself not only greatly uncomfortable and disappointed in myself, but more importantly I get just a bit fatter. I hate this stupid eating disorder. It sucks. If I eat, I hate myself, and if I don't, I feel like crap. If anyone out there was wondering, EDs are HELL. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Also, see how my wonderful blog once a day plan worked out? i failed after two straight days. Not a good day in marieland.

-marie

One step towards success

So now that I am blogging on the second day of my month long quest, I feel like the project has a significantly better chance of success. Often it is the second day that kills my streak, if one day can even be called that. How sad is that?

Anywho, when I started this I promised myself I wouldn't make this into a blog about my eating habits, but I fear it will anyways. Many other ED bloggers post their weight or other measurements on a regular basis, but honestly I am too ashamed. I am by no means overweight and my BMI is technically healthy, but none the less, I cannot bring myself to post it. Perhaps next post I will get up the courage.

I really do seem adept at writing little posts that inform the reader about absolutely nothing, don't I? I really should stop that. Perhaps later, later, later. Procrastination is my friend.

-marie

*copied post from my old blog. to hide all this, I am creating a set of new accounts and such*

One must start somewhere

I suppose I will write this just to get it out of the way. First posts usually aren't all that informative or eloquent anywho so I feel no great obligation to make this spectacular, or even useful in any respect. However, this would be the place to declare my intent to blog once a day for the next month, plenty of time to establish a habit and see if i actually like it. Perhaps this can serve as a journal of sorts for my reflections, however mundane or banal they prove to be. Enjoy.
-marie

*copied post from my old blog. to hide all this, I am creating a set of new accounts and such*