Screw this

So tonight I binged. My family was out of the house and I just went to town on that pantry. My weapons of choice: ice cream, sunchips, and almonds. I have no idea why I chose those, but I did and I ate a ton. Then, the pain came. I got gassy and bloaty, and it didn't help that my stomach has probably shrunk from decreased consumption. Every time I vow I won't do it, but I always return to that dreadful cupboard. One would think I would remember the pain and all, but no, I continue to be an idiot and make myself not only greatly uncomfortable and disappointed in myself, but more importantly I get just a bit fatter. I hate this stupid eating disorder. It sucks. If I eat, I hate myself, and if I don't, I feel like crap. If anyone out there was wondering, EDs are HELL. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Also, see how my wonderful blog once a day plan worked out? i failed after two straight days. Not a good day in marieland.

-marie